humor

Stuck in a Rut With Your Lady? This This Amulet

As I trudged towards the library, drunk on sleeplessness and spite, a man appeared in the periphery. “Hey!” I turned. A pony-tailed man with a bronzed complexion and perhaps fifty summers behind him hailed me from the immediate northwest. A man too old to be calling anyone “bro.” “Hey bro?” “Hi,” I said, stopping.

March 5, 2012 READ MORE →

Secrets of a High-Maintenance Woman

I know what you’re thinking…”What business does this mirror-kissing, solipsistic, mucky hog of a male, with his bent glasses and broken teeth, have giving me advice about being a high-maintenance woman?” Take a breath. I know plenty. And I know it because I spent a good part of my day yesterday studying this textbook:

January 20, 2012 READ MORE →

Take The Psychopath Test!

“Funny books about unfunny things” (How Ron has described his own work) Spoiler! I scored a 7 on the psychopath checklist, so you should be cautious around me, but I’m not going to murder anyone anytime soon, according to the numbers. I don’t even care what Jon Ronson writes about, I just like his books. [...]

November 11, 2011 READ MORE →

Merlin, Wicca, The Legend of Zelda, and the Meaning of Words

“Hi, can you show me where the books about Merlin are?” “Absolutely. Like Merlin the wizard? Are you looking for the Arthur stories, like the TH White book? Or are you interested in the Arthurian legend in any way?” “No man, just take me to the books about wicca.” “So you want the books about [...]

August 26, 2011 READ MORE →

Stacking Books On Your Head – How Many Can You Handle?

Today, a challenge for you. Yesterday was my first day back at work after a couple of weeks on the road. As I drove I thought “I think I’m actually going to enjoy getting back to it.” This happy specter of thought persisted until I walked by the reference aisle. I took a step backward [...]

August 16, 2011 READ MORE →

Redefining Cool – Guest Post by Gary Berenbroick

We had a handful of hundred degree plus days last week. I can’t stand it when it gets that hot. First, because it sucks the life out of me and I wind up slack jawed and drooling by the time I get to my car. On top of that it become more unbearable because people [...]

July 29, 2011 READ MORE →

Changing Your Name To Something Really Dumb

He reached out his hand, again. I shook it…again. He said the word again, “Nice to meet you…(whatever he said)…” The man was profoundly, annihilatedly stoned. He could barely stay awake as we talked. I finally realized that he was trying to say my name, except he wasn’t getting it off of my name tag, [...]

July 21, 2011 READ MORE →

The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain – Book Review

Mark Twain has been my favorite author for a long, long time. I’m ashamed to say that it has taken my this long to get around to reading The Innocents Abroad. I now consider it the best of his non-fiction, and one of the funniest books I have ever read. It’s essentially a travelogue. In [...]

July 20, 2011 READ MORE →

Scenes From An American Parade

A parade seems a very American thing to me. Partly because I’ve never been anywhere else. But also because it’s hard for me to imagine another country–let’s say Italy just to pick one–where I can get struck on the top of my head with a piece of saltwater taffy as a hearse with www.thecasketman.com emblazoned [...]

July 5, 2011 READ MORE →

Coming Soon! Certified Zombie Strength and Conditioning Specialist Certification Challenge, or “CZSCSCC”

Guest post by Boris Bachmann, who has seen his share of shrill advertising. And zombies. Life’s No Fair To Zombies Get Rich AND Help Them Even The Odds with Strength & Conditioning! The creators of Squat Rx will soon be offering a new certification – the “Certified Zombie Strength and Conditioning Specialist Certification Challenge”, or [...]

June 20, 2011 READ MORE →