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Call For Writers

Hi all, in the next two days I’m launching a blog for writers: anyone looking for encouragement, who is stuck, who wants inspiration, who wants to connect with other writers, and so on. It will ultimately be whatever we make it.

I’ll be looking for writers who want to write (duh), and who want to promote their own writing while being useful to others.

A little encouragement goes a long way. A little encouragement from other writers can do even more, at least it has for me.

Will post the link as soon as it’s ready to go. If you want to be involved, dust off that thinking cap.


Who’s Ready For A Play?

Howdy, gang of dozens,

I’ve got some great news that I find absolutely hilarious. I just sold the theater rights to The World’s Strongest Librarian. There’s going to be a play!

One of the writers (there are two) worked on The Young and the Restless for years. He told me that once a year he finds something that he wants to do purely as a labor of love, and when he was WSL he was hooked on the idea of adapting it.

So, if you’re a method actor and you want to land this part, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Work on having Tourette’s, start working on your grip strength, get really tall, and you’ll be well on your way.



ALA Recap – Bropocalypse and Baby Talking Supermodels

Hi all,

I’m back from the hellish cesspool of Las Vegas. I usually like walking around the strip and gawking, but I realized something this time around: I’d never been there in the summer. It was as oppressive as Orwell’s Ministry of Love.

My talk and signings at the ALA (American Library Association) went swimmingly, and hanging out with my betters in the library world is always fun.

Happily, adding librarians to a situation improves everything, because the situation was in desperate need of improvement.

The casino was hideous. The hotel was the nicest I’ve stayed in, but the casino…It was a bropocalypse of sideways hats and smoking and strutting guys talking out the corner of they mouths like the studs they were. I heard one guy saying to his homeboy, “And then man, she told me that every girl in that room said I was a ten, and then but like I didn’t know, I didn’t hear about it until I left. And bro, they all thought I was a ten, and I didn’t even get to make a play, because I didn’t know they thought I was a ten, and so but like the…” [click to continue…]


A recent and unsuccessful attempt to solve a robbery has reminded me that I have a strange problem. Let me back up a bit.

Maybe ten years ago I watched the movie Snow Falling on Cedars. This isn’t a spoiler since it’s obvious from the beginning, to everyone but me, but the fact that Ethan Hawke’s character is missing an arm is a big deal in the movie. I didn’t realize he only had one arm until the movie was nearly over. “Hey why is his jacket pinned up like that?” Indeed. [click to continue…]


Interview With Arthur Conan Doyle

Here is some incredibly charming footage of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle talking about his most famous creation, Sherlock Holmes. This just made my day, and my day was already going pretty well.

If you want an interesting story, look up the history between Doyle (a spiritualist) and post-escapist-career Harry Houdini, who went on to become a tenacious debunker of mysticism, seances, etc. Great stuff.


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New Addictions – Swagger, Sauviness, etc

I’m not a fan of addiction, despite sharing some fondness for the oft-heard mantra that anything worth doing is worth overdoing. If you need something, you aren’t as free as you might be.

That said, I’ve become a happy slave to an idiotic pastime.

If you’re in the mood to laugh, groan, and/or pick up some serious street cred, do this:

1. Go to a search engine

2. Type in variations of “How to be cool,” “How to be suave,” “How to be an alpha male (or female),” “How to be irresistible,” “How to flirt,” and then ONLY READ THE WIKIHOW articles, which are usually at the top of the results list.

This has come about largely because of all of the peacockin’ men who come into the library. The guys who come up swaggering as if they are being paid a fortune simply to exist are usually the ones who whisper, “Hey yo, where the books about being cool at?”

I can’t get enough. It’s been a while since I’ve laughed this hard. Wikihow. Do it.



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The Following Post Smolders


This is me as a sophomore, I think, in high school. It is crucial that I point something out: that hair is chemically straightened. That is a cultivated look. I had to have it, and I got it, by Jove.

If you could see the rest of the picture, you’d notice that I’m not wearing a belt and my legs are as thick as pencils.

Who, o who, was able to deny that smoldering lad?





Looking For Poetry Suggestions

Hi all, I’ve been in a poetry phase for a couple of weeks now. This is only strange because I don’t read much poetry, and have always felt helplessly clumsy when discussing it, or pretending to.

When I was a senior in college I took a modernist poetry class. At the beginning, we each had to tell a poet that we loved and a poet that we hated. I can’t remember who I said I hated, but I had two answers for poets whom I loved.

Shel Silverstein and Dr. Seuss.

I still love them, but am attempting to broaden my horizons a bit, to use a cliche that would be excised from any respectable poem, or so I hear.

So, over to you, geniuses. I’ve liked a lot of poetry from TS Eliot, Margaret Atwood, James Fenton, Dylan Thomas, Auden, and especially Rilke. I’ve mostly read Rilke in French, which seems to make anything sound lovely.

Do you have a favorite poet? A favorite poem? I’m in the mood to try out anything you’ll steer me towards.


Only Lovers Left Alive

I don’t go to movies very often, but I did it last night. Jim Jarmusch’s new movie Only Lovers Left Alive is one of the best movies I’ve seen in years.

There’s not much point in describing the story. Lovers is a movie that was all about the experience of how I felt while watching it. Tilda Swindon–absolutely couldn’t look away from her–and Tom Hiddleston are two vampires in love. They’re married. He is about 500 years old, and she’s a couple of millennia older.

Again, the story isn’t the point, but if I had to describe the plot I’d say:

This is about a week in the life of two vampires. He’s depressed and sick about how humans are treating the planet. She is calm, evolved, and has great taste in music. There’s no gore and very little blood. There is a lot of dancing and gorgeous cinematography. [click to continue…]