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An Odd Use For A Bath Towel

hanging towel“Yes, it’s big, but can you hang a bath towel from it?”

I was at work. I looked at the subject line of the email for about 10 seconds before deciding to delete it without opening it. But even the glimpse had planted a nagging seed of  insecurity in my head. Could I? Of course I could. Can you really?

I do love a challenge.

As often happens when I get curious, I took a day off from work, citing my grief over Kurt Vonnegut’s death once gain, and went home to experiment. This was perfect! Nobody was home and I had full run of the lab. I assumed my wife was out with her boyfriend, someone who no doubt had already demonstrated his prowess with a bath towel. Well, I would win her back.

I got a towel, I went into our bathroom, and…suddenly felt very foolish. Without opening the email, I had no idea which body part the challenge had been referring to. But I had taken funeral leave, so I couldn’t just do nothing. And thus began the experiment.

The bath towel I chose was blue and it was the heaviest one I could find. I believe it was made of dark matter, which is very heavy and made space and time bend around it. I held my right arm out and draped the towel over it. Easy.

No harder with the left arm. Hmm…

I leaned my head forward and draped it over the back of my neck. Neither this nor the placing of the towel over my outstretched legs had any effect.

I put the towel behind each ear. I draped it over my shoulders, then the tops of my feet. I finally reached the point of frustration where the only solution is to strip down and do a bunch of cartwheels in the buff. I went out onto the lawn, got ready for the first one, looked down and…it hit me!

I got dressed, drove back to work, opened up my work email account, and found the email in the trash folder, which I had forgotten all about. Oh, the whimsy…imagine my embarrassment when I realized what the whole thing was about.

It does seem an odd use for a bath towel. How did this become the standard? In any case I’ll have to work up to it. I’ve been trying to support a tissue all morning and sheepishly report that the quest for the 600 pound deadlift has really taken its toll on other areas.

PS: Just kidding. I bring it like a mad dog who’s been eating thunder and lightning. Ask anyone (that I am married to).


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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Jonathan Manor February 10, 2011, 12:47 am

    this “is” odd.

  • Eric | Eden Journal February 10, 2011, 6:35 am

    I’m assuming you’re referring to your little piggy toe. Keep working on it, next time your wife asks for a towel you can deliver it with a round house kick.

  • Todd February 10, 2011, 8:15 am

    A bath towel? Hmmm Be right back…

    Ok, I’m back. That’s quite the workout. A little embarrasing when my wife walked in asking what I was doing. Placing my hands on my hips and I said, “I’m folding the laundry, woman!”

  • Todd February 10, 2011, 8:16 am

    Dam spel cheker, Im embarrassed.

  • Anna February 16, 2011, 7:45 pm

    oh, that’s just wrong!