Note from Josh: This guest post made me laugh pretty hard. Unfortunately some of it is true. I’d follow this piece up with another great guest post, Libraries Matter.
Guest post by Roman
I love to read books.
I can not imagine a day without reading for at least an hour. Some need coffee, some need to be with their kids, some need TV, I need a book in my hands.
Deciding on what book to read is not only about words. It is about mood – are you gloomy or happy? It is about where it will be read, will it be a quit place or a loud place, will it be hot or cool? These factors play an equally important role as the words between the covers.
Reading is a total body experience
Reading is not simply picking up a book and jumping in bed – it is everything around it as well. It is the candles, the music, the caressing of toes below the table and the smiles above. Reading is an experience.
Choosing a book is choosing your best friend for the next few weeks. Someone you will spend every day with, take everywhere, and think about always. You are about to devote body and soul to your book.
And that is why I never take my book to the library.
Before I begin my tirade of why the library is so horrible I need to admit something. When I say library I do not mean all libraries. I mean the three libraries I have been to. One was at my High School and other two are public libraries in my home city.
Although I have never been to your public library I am quite certain is it similar to my public library. All public library have the same fundamental flaw. Libraries like all government owned registration offices, passport offices, post offices, unemployment offices, schools, hospitals, suffer from the same problem. They are all run by the government.
Governments are good at running things – agree or disagree? For now it does not matter. I will give you reasons why a lover of reading like me never reads at the library. Why the public library is the way it is can be left for another day (hint: the government).
Public Library Are A Not A Good Place To Read Because They Have…
For a book with any level of in-demand-ness you will need to get on a waiting list. Forget about just walking into the library and picking up the latest bestseller or must read book. As far as I can tell, the rule for public libraries is that if nobody wants to read it then you will find it at the library.
The classic image of a library is the old librarian squinting over her glasses, pressing her finger across her lips and blowing out a load shhhhhhhhhhh every time you whisper to your friend for the time. That is the Hollywood image. The reality is that the library is a screaming brats war zone.
No Good Chairs
Why do the chairs at the library have to have the seat and backrest at a
ninety degree angle? Where does the library get these chairs? Everywhere else you can sit on chairs in which you can lean. Not the library – at the library you have to sit with the metal backrest digging into your spine. Arm rests? What are those?.
No Food or Drink
If you plan to go to the library I recommend that you go to the
animals section and get a book on camels (the library will have this in stock). Turn to the chapter on humps and read about how they store energy enabling the camel to survive the desert. Study this well because the library does not allow food or drink. Humans can survive a maximum of five hours in the library, thanks to their humps camels can endure more.
In summary: at the library I am reading the 1935 edition of The Ohio Wheat Crop Failure, little Timmy is screaming at little Bobby, my back is killing me, and my hands are starting to shake because of my forced abstinence of coffee.
Greedy Capitalists Make Better Libraries
I was in a library at least 15 years ago. Maybe it has changed since then, but I doubt it –government does not work that quickly.
Fortunately there are non-government library substitutes. For the last 15 years Chapters has been my library of choice. They have all the latest books, comfortable chairs, a kid’s section, and Starbucks.
I walk into the big store. A comfortable room temperate – not too hot and not too cold. The air smells two parts books and one part coffee beans.
After a pleasant exchange of hellos and how are yous I order a Ventti Latte with a light sprinkle of cinnamon. Thank you, enjoy, and have a nice day.
Refreshment in hand I head toward the books.
Books, books and more books. Endless rows of books. The biggest bestsellers, the books everybody is reading, the must reads, the books all your friends will be talking about, are all there.
Grabbing the best bestseller from the bestseller shelf I sit down in a one-hundred and five degree cushioned chair. My elbows press against the smooth wooden arm rests, my latte seconds away from my mouth. The book cover has a sandy texture which gently rubs against my finger tips, the pages are eggshell white, the font is a pleasant twelve point Adobe Garamond.
Everything is perfect.
I love to read books.
About the author:
Besides reading and avoiding government run establishments Roman enjoys writing about how this website makes money.