guest post by Jeremy
If we asked ourselves how to be more compassionate, I think things would be better. I really do.
“I read somewhere that being nice to others is in our DNA. Obviously, it’s an element cultivated more actively by some than others.
Some people just seem preternaturally grouchy. It doesn’t have to be that way. In other words, even though it’s natural to be nice to others, not everybody is inclined to work it out. And they could, because it’s so easy to do.
The “how” of it is simple: touch. Yep, a simple, pleasant, gentle touch can activate the hormone in our bloodstream (oxytocin) that brings out “niceness” or compassion in ourselves as well as others.” – Alex Howard
I am not sharing this news with you in the hopes that you now feel green lighted to go out and start touching folks in the name of compassion. That being said, maybe we could all take a look at our lives and examine how much the “right” kind of touch is a part of it of all. Is it missing?
We spend our time at home occupying different ends of gigantic houses. We text instead of talking to one another. We think we are becoming more connected, but in reality the opposite may be happening. If we are wired to be compassionate, could we just decide to be what we already are?
Touch can help us be at our best. What we are wired to be.
For some folks just talking about this subject raises some red flags. What will people think? How will they react?
I guess the answer is as simple as “You’ll never know until you try it”. Fear keeps us from doing many of the things we know we should. It keeps me from being the leader I know I want to be. It keeps me from turning down that second pint of ale (What will my friends think? He’s no fun anymore.). It keeps me from the unknown, from the adventure I actually want life to be.
I can remember times when I have felt so distant from wife when a busy life was taking over. It feels awful. I have also noticed that some time cuddling on the couch, a moment of hand holding, or better yet -some real quality time (I’ll leave that to your imagination) can make things feel 100% just right. I know it works with me.
Don’t be afraid. Touch someone
Now go ahead and touch someone. Let’s all hope it activates the right hormone. I now send you a virtual hug, or a hand bump (if the hug freaks you out) – let the oxytocin flow.
Now for the first part of the title Can I Touch Myself – I say you may certainly give it a try. Who knows what might happen.
What do you think about the idea of this touch/compassion connection? Is there a specific moment it seemed to work for you? Did you get permission first?
About the author:
This post is written by Jeremy who operates Chew the Fat. He spends his time aspiring to become a warrior poet while scouting for brilliant babes and dudes. Please check out some of his work by reading Blog Your Best Self Self: 7 Blogs That Already Do.