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Kim Jong Il Needs A Kettlebell, Or: I Refuse To Write For The Search Engines

Seo Experiment!

My original title for this article was going to be “How Megan Fox topless photos and make money online and cheap viagra and cheap cialis helped the Boston Celtics defeat Tiger Woods in a SUPER HARDCORE cereal contest of eating TriXXX.”

But that would have been silly and the story would have defied my legendary creative abilities.

So instead I decided to mention that least worthy of subjects: Kim Jong Il.

But he does need a kettlebell

How do I know? Because everyone needs a kettlebell, that’s how. Or a whole bunch of them.

I love kettlebells. I love them enough to have them be a big fat part of my logo up there. I train with them 6-7 times a week, most weeks. I love how they feel, I love how they look, and if my sense of taste hadn’t been fried during a bizarre manatee attack, I’d probably love how they tasted.

Just a tool

But the kettlebell is just a tool. And like any tool, it has its limitations. If getting stronger is your goal, then it makes sense to have as many tools as possible, provided they all work together to bring you results faster than they each would alone. If you’re trying to GET SERIOUSLY RIPPED DUDE-BRO-NAVYSEAL-CAGEFIGHTER, you don’t want to get derailed just because you only have one option for training. You don’t want to TAPOUT just because you lost the curiosity to explore.

Every tool has its limitations. Just like Payday loans and their obscene interest rate. Just like learning to become a big bad Assassin with an awesome Online degree. Come on, pay a real hitman who went to Assassin school and wears cheap board shorts.

Barbells are worth using. So are sandbags, dumbbells, grippers, jump ropes, clubbells, and anything else that gets you to your goal faster. But if they produce faster results when used in conjunction, wouldn’t that be desirable?

I’m not saying that I know the way to combine them all, or even that it should happen. But asking ourselves questions about the effectiveness of our training doesn’t hurt either. And switching or altering training methods when something doesn’t work or or is working more slowly than we’d like doesn’t imply any disloyalty either.

There’s no reason to be a snob. Training is supposed to be fun.

The point?

The point is, writing for the search engines is harder than I thought it would be. That’s why I don’t do it. I’m obviously not very good at it, either. I write to have fun, and with the exception of DUDE-BRO up there, it’s not that fun to just try to work in keywords.

But you do need a kettlebell!

Speaking of, I’m going to be hosting a workshop with “Unbreakable” Adam T. Glass on July 31. We’ll be teaching some exceptional people How to PR every day. Seats are limited and are going fast. I’d love to meet you and the price cannot be beat.


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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Eric | Eden Journal June 15, 2010, 5:19 am

    Congrats, you have the #1 Google spot for RIPPED DUDE-BRO NAVY SEAL CAGEFIGHTER. Now all you have to do it create a RIPPED DUDE-BRO NAVY SEAL CAGEFIGHTER eBook to monetize that search term and you will make millions!

    • Josh Hanagarne June 15, 2010, 10:31 am

      It’s about time.

      • Eric | Eden Journal June 15, 2010, 11:35 am

        Not so much luck for Manatee Attack, which strangely returns many more results than I expected.

        • Josh Hanagarne June 17, 2010, 11:52 am

          Dang it. Well, once I get that #1 spot, I’ll never relinquish it.

  • Todd June 15, 2010, 6:27 am

    I hate writing for the search engines, so I don’t do it either. It’s just one more thing that I don’t have time to do.

    That’s a fair deal on the class. I do have some Southwest points to use up… but it’s also a week out from my powerlifting meet, which I should be taking off. Decisions, decisions.

    • Josh Hanagarne June 15, 2010, 10:32 am

      Todd, you’d still be taking the week off, basically. We’ll be doing a lot of instruction and you’ll be able to lift as much or as little as you want. I’d love to meet you!

  • Heather June 15, 2010, 6:39 am

    Still tittering like an idiot over all the Assassin bits. The DUDE-BRO-NAVYSEAL-CAGEFIGHTER bit was a scream too. EVERYONE needs a kettlebell! In fact, I need ANOTHER ONE! Thanks fer makin’ m’day! P. S. was going to add in on the bold-face naughty bits, but can’t figure out how.

    • Josh Hanagarne June 15, 2010, 10:33 am

      What weight are you using?

      • Heather June 15, 2010, 6:18 pm

        Still using my sad little 15-pound for speed and ballistics-type stuff (snatches especially) but have a 20-pounder for stuff like doing dragon walks across my back yard and for days when I need something with a little more “beef”. Ordered the Kettlebell Goddess DVD back this past winter, the Artemis one is my fave but I need a couple more bells to do Odyne, GODDESS OF PAIN! Double-cleans. . . yeah, baby! 🙂

  • Michelle June 15, 2010, 7:18 am

    Heh. I read your blog in an RSS reader. The next post after yours was one on Search Engine Marketing.

    For the record, I read yours all the way through, and entirely skipped past his.

  • Amy June 15, 2010, 7:59 am

    The other day we went to Dick’s so I could check out jogging strollers. Instead, thanks to you, we ended up over at the kettlebells. Soon I will be buying my first set to add into what I use for me and for the people I work with.

    • Josh Hanagarne June 15, 2010, 10:33 am

      Don’t buy one from Dick’s! They’re horrible.

  • John June 15, 2010, 11:16 am

    Kettlebells are great. I just got mine a few months back, so if you have any tips for kettlebell workouts I’m all ears.

    • Josh Hanagarne June 17, 2010, 11:53 am

      John, all of my workouts these days revolve around biofeedback training ala the Grip N Rip DVD. If you have any questions about anything I’m doing, I’d be happy to talk more. Send me an email if you like.

  • Blaine Moore June 15, 2010, 1:41 pm

    Heh, thanks for the laugh, Josh.

    Don’t forget that you need to reset your twitter password rajeevo on your way to getting your kettlebell for kim jong il.

  • Jodi Kaplan June 16, 2010, 9:36 am


    Yes, and plug the Gulf oil spill with kettlebells.

  • Jenn June 18, 2010, 10:55 am

    Funny post Josh. Everyone without an anger issues needs a kettlebell. Wait maybe those with anger issues need one more.