Life is good, my friend. Despite the manic birds that start tweeting outside my window at 4 every morning, life is good.
If you have ever put together a bunch of sleepless nights in a row, you know that you can become accustomed to something as horrible as being tired, lethargic, and slow. If it goes on long enough, you forget how good you were capable of feeling during the times when you were sleeping well and sleeping enough.
Once we’ve become acclimated to a less-than-ideal situation, “Good days” and “bad days” start to be measured by the state we are accustomed to, not the better times before.
But when you finally catch up on sleep, you realize and remember how good you used to feel. And wow, what a revelation!
Have you ever backslid on healthy eating for a while? Do you remember how good it felt to finally get back to good eating habits and say, “Wow, why did I ever get away from this?” Same thing with getting back into an exercise routine. “Why did I ever stop this?”
That’s where I’m at with tics today. By the time you read this, I’ll be well into my third day without having a single tic. And the most acute sensation I have is not joy or calm or happiness or disbelief, although those are certainly happening.
What I’m most aware of is an overwhelming feeling of remembering. Of how much I’ve forgotten about how good it is possible to feel.
The urges are still there, and the itch to have tics is actually as strong as it’s ever been. But I’m learning how to shut it off. I’m getting better at it every day.
But again, it doesn’t feel like learning. It feels like remembering–remembering the way things are supposed to be. Maybe the way they were intended to be. I don’t know.
What I do know is that I expected this to be a longer post, but…two days without tics and counting.
Not much else to say!
Life is good. Is there something you’re forgetting?
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