Comments on: 5 Reasons Happy Couples Should Spend Time Apart – Guest post by Tara Mohr

By: cbisme

cbisme — Sat, 12 May 2012 20:00:06 +0000

Yes, indeed, some of you do. All people have different needs. Unfortunately, at the time of her posting, Sarah was in what certainly sounded like an abusive relationship. Not a judgement on my part…it seemed that she already knew it. What she speaks of has very little to do with the subject matter of the article…positive, renewing time spent apart from a partner. Hopefully, circumstances have now changed for her.

By: zazi

zazi — Sat, 12 May 2012 08:12:10 +0000

Please stop with the judgements. Not everyone is going to handle the relationship the same way – some of us really need time to breathe. Laying down a huge guilt trip about that need is just plain tacky.

By: Nina

Nina — Tue, 01 May 2012 15:30:36 +0000

Waoh!!! This is all so interesting. I think one of the main things people need to realize to make this work is first to have a stable, well founded and 50/50 relationship. Time apart can only be good if both of you behave yourselves when you are apart and also allow yourself to digest the experience and emotions you are going through. When only one partner is committed and trying to make everything work, it won’t work. Time apart gives you that minute to breathe but you can only fully take and enjoy that breath when you don’t have to worry about your partner doing something wrong. And this goes for all things, even if you guys just spend time in the house in separate rooms doing your own activities, going out with friends, reading etc. without trust and commitment you might not be able to reach your inner self because you are consumed with worry that your partner will do something wrong if left a lone for too long. So first work on your trust issues and create a solid foundation in your relationship then you can fully understand and enjoy what Tara is talking about. And please dont hold on to past issues, let the past go and move on.

By: cbisme

cbisme — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 06:17:31 +0000

I am curious to see if your relationship is still going downhill. You see, Sarah, this article was written by a woman who hasn’t lost her husband yet. My husband died in 2009. Not until you have something like this happen, does a person find out what they are really made of…and what they are really capable of doing alone. According to this article, spending days, or even weeks, away from a partner is good? I think not. Why would someone even bother to get married in the first place? My husband and I owned a business together. We were constantly together for 30 years; we even went on business trips together. Did we have a happy, strong marriage? Yes, indeed. Did we share friends? Of course. Did he gain a lot of weight? Yes. Did I love him anyway? Yes. He even invited me to play poker and go golfing with his buddies. He went to flea markets and girly things with me. You, my dear, are an attorney…no small accomplishment. Take pride in who you are and what you have done. Remember, only you are in charge of your own happiness. If you spent last Christmas alone…never do it again…be with him or with a new partner that will not demean you. Men don’t spend time in bars for any other reason other than to get drunk, brag or chat up females. Rely on your family members and friends now…more than on someone who tries to rob you of your self-esteem. Love means…all sizes, all weaknesses and all strengths…are shared with affection. Let me know how you are doing. Carol in Illinois.

By: lbj

lbj — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 00:15:57 +0000

Very insightful. I found this website trying to find people who have experienced their own lives or the lives of their significant other to change when in a relationship. I have just entered into a relationship that is quite different from my previous one in that I feel I need that constant presence and bonding all the time, or I want it at least more than he does. It comes to the point where I lose enthusiasm for what normally makes me happy for lack of his presence. I know this isn’t healthy and I try every day to figure out why i feel that way and try and redirect my energies to something productive. I also found out that he’s pretty much cutting himself off from close friends and colleagues in that he’s communicating with them very cursorily and that I’m the only person he communicates with on a daily basis. This worries me on another level, in that he’s letting me be the be-all and end-all of his social interaction. There are many reasons for this, money being primary, and distance factoring in as well. I see him once a week, and my weeks are now consumed with expectation and excitement for that one day a week I see him. I feel like this is a great change up from my previous relationship in that every time I see him is a treat, every minute is precious, and I never take any of it for granted. If it weren’t for the inability of coping with the absence that I’m working through I’d say it was the ideal set up. It’s difficult to adjust to being away from a loved one for extended periods especially when the love is so new and still developing and exciting. But I definitely agree, the time I spend away from him gives me time to recover and not act rashly on certain decisions, or take his presence for granted. Absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder.

By: Matt

Matt — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:06:00 +0000

Hello,

My wife and I have been married for a little more than 2 years. We recently had a fight and we are spending 2 weeks apart. I understand that this is important because I can see how much it is helping her but I am having mood swings because I don’t get to see her or talk to her very often. Is there anything you can think of that may help me enjoy the time apart as much as she does?

I find myself just thinking about her and wondering if she is ok even though I know she is.

Thanks for your help.

By: Josh Hanagarne

Josh Hanagarne — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:56:20 +0000

Isn’t Tara a great writer!

By: Lorelei

Lorelei — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:08:23 +0000

This was incredibly enlightening. Thank you.

By: pandadeejay

pandadeejay — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 19:41:15 +0000

My partner went out with his football buddies on a Christmas bash, whilst waiting to meet up with his friends he messaged to say he was missing me and what on earth was he doing going out, he felt like his right arm had been cut off. Within a few hours he got drunk and took someones number, this was 5 months into our relationship, we were in the process of buying a property together. He was repentant, cried, said he wished he had never gone out…. ut now can I TRUST HIM, plus he has wandering eyes and watchs porn. His first wife cheated on him and since then he has drifted from relationship to relationship – seven year itch each time! On the whole he is a good guy but his past is makes me not trust him, worse still he told me he doesn’t trust himself so won’t go out with his friends! He wants us to grow old together but if he doesn’t trust himself, how can i trust him?