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Poll: Worst Tourist Attraction?

From Josh: By tonight I’ll be picking my 5 favorite entries, then you all can vote on a winner. The winner gets a signed copy of The Knot, released later this week.

Last night we were hurtling homeward after a family dinner. Somehow we started talking about riding horses. I am in the camp that says there is no feeling in the world like riding a galloping horse. This is the truth.

Then someone said, “But I’d never walk up to a cow, because their tongues are too long and they could stampede you.”

I laughed.

Then someone said, “I’d never swim with dolphins, either. You couldn’t ever predict what they’d do.”

I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Then someone–all right, it was my wife–said “But who’s going to put together an attraction where you could swim with cows.”

Then I was laughing again. There aren’t a lot of things that sound less thrilling to me than swimming with a cow.

Let’s try a thought experiment. At the end of the day we’ll crown a winner. What is/would be the worst tourist attraction ever?


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  • Lisa Baldwin March 29, 2010, 4:51 am

    The photo you’ve used here clearly illustrates The Most Awesome Tourist Attraction Ever. I can’t even ponder the idea of a bad tourist attraction while that image is nearby. Where did you take it? And were you riding a pony at the time?

  • Conor March 29, 2010, 4:59 am

    Hi Josh,

    A couple of ideas:

    – Meditating with baboons
    – Scuba diving with salt water crocodiles
    – Running with giant turtles
    – Bathing with eels


  • janice | Sharing the Journey March 29, 2010, 6:52 am

    Still smiling at the swimming cows, Josh!

    ~George Bush and Sarah Palin playing a televised live chess game…

  • Rhonda Cooley March 29, 2010, 7:18 am

    Bungee jumping into the Grand Canyon.

  • Joy Tanksley March 29, 2010, 7:31 am

    My creative juices are dry this morning – just finished a major, major project. BUT I very much appreciate this post ’cause I need some laughs today!

  • Srinivas Rao March 29, 2010, 8:01 am

    Sea World has always seemed ridiculous to me. Taking animals with something as vast as the ocean as their home and then putting them in a swimming pool= bad tourist attraction in my mind.

  • Michelle March 29, 2010, 8:14 am

    This is the picture that came up on the rss reader a couple posts down from yours. It seemed fitting.


  • Solveig March 29, 2010, 8:17 am

    I’m not that imaginative, but I loved the picture.

  • Kim March 29, 2010, 10:07 am

    Speaking of cow tongues, giraffes have some odd tongues too…they admittedly freak me out a bit. Pedicures by a giraffe, maybe? I wonder how well their tongues exfoliate…

    • Josh Hanagarne March 29, 2010, 11:22 am

      My feet are extremely ticklish. I can practically feel when someone is looking at them. This makes me shiver.

  • Larissa March 29, 2010, 10:45 am

    hahaha, I like Coner’s running with the giant turtles. 🙂

    How about
    -sun bathing in the sahara
    -salt scrub treatment in the mines. .
    -finish it off with a relaxing afternoon in a geyser hot spring

    That could be an awesome vacation brochure, don’t you think?! 😀

    • Josh Hanagarne March 29, 2010, 11:22 am

      Maybe. I’m no designer, but in the right hands…

  • ami March 29, 2010, 11:18 am

    Haha, great pic. The dolphin looks like a camera hog, while the cow looks like a serious professional. 🙂

    I think a bad tourist attraction would have to include some kind of man vs. pig contest. Perhaps, man vs. pig vs. tiger in a pit of marshmallow fluff.

    • Josh Hanagarne March 29, 2010, 11:22 am

      That is the funniest image I can think of. This is an awesome thread.

  • Carol March 29, 2010, 11:25 am

    Without a doubt Four Corners Monument!!

    • Josh Hanagarne March 29, 2010, 2:19 pm

      Carol, I’ve never been. What’s so bad about it?

      • Carol March 30, 2010, 8:43 am

        You drive through miles of desert and it is a cement slab with the state flag at each corner. There are a few vendors. To top it off it is in the wrong place. Just a few miles from the real four corners. They are rebuilding it. In the same wrong place.

  • Norman March 29, 2010, 11:51 am

    Hmmmmm… Bush/Palin marshmallow-chess-crocodile-swim-giraffe-lick weekend of glory? (say it really fast). It’s a vacation ranch….of sorts?
    Take the thing that gives you the worst skin-crawl you can imagine; giraffe tongue foot, for example. Combine that with something for which “…there is no feeling in the world like…” (pandering to the contest judge. sorry) and make a day of it.
    A pleasure/fear immersion theme park.
    So for me it would be biting on tinfoil while watching Marx Bros. movies. Ok. It needs work…

    • Josh Hanagarne March 29, 2010, 2:20 pm

      I like the Marx Brothers, but everything else up there sounds as bad as you want it to.

  • Randy Hauer March 29, 2010, 12:06 pm

    This has to be up there in the real world:
    and this from the Far Side
    and this down the road from me a piece here in Colorado is friggin’ huge: http://www.frozendeadguy.com/

    • Josh Hanagarne March 29, 2010, 2:21 pm

      Randy, I’m coming to Boulder in April. We’re going to go see the Frozen guy after you teach me the o lifts.

  • Moira March 29, 2010, 1:40 pm

    Randy – was thinking along the same tracks –
    The Museum of Body Fluids – see the world’s longest poo, whiff the smellist fart – includes competitiions such as count the carrots – you get the picture. The sad thing is I’d probably pay the admission fee.

    • Josh Hanagarne March 29, 2010, 2:21 pm


    • Randy Hauer March 29, 2010, 2:47 pm

      Moira, I thought South Park had settled the longest poo with Bono. Regardless, you sound like a fun date!

  • Michael Stagg | My II Sense March 29, 2010, 3:51 pm

    I know! How about Paint Ball 20 Questions w/ Sarah Palin! For every question she answers that MAKES SENSE she avoids being shot at by angry teens who have lost their texting privileges? LOL… No WAY she survives without getting inked! 😀

  • Curtis Smith March 29, 2010, 11:56 pm

    I know I am a little late to the game here but I had to throw in “The worlds largest Superman Statue” in Metropolis Illinois which I actually drove several miles off the freeway to see on one of my cross country adventures. The things a town will do to try and get on the map.