It used to seem like an impossible goal, on par with jumping into orbit, swimming to the bottom of the Marianas Trench, or being able to divide fractions.
I want to sit still for one minute. 60 seconds of peace.
When I was six years old, I started to twitch with involuntary tics. This did not change for nearly 27 years. It was not until December of 2009 that I was able to sit still for one complete minute without distracting myself with things like talking, guitar, video games, or typing.
Those were still small victories, but they were not on my terms. I had to do something else so that I didn’t have tics. But what I really wanted was just to sit still because it was time to sit still, nothing else.
Yesterday things changed
I sat still for two hours and twenty minutes. 8400 seconds. I sat as still as you’re probably sitting right now, unless Tourette’s is contagious and you’re accumulating your own foolish repertoire.
No tics. Not one. No straining. Not even a little bit.
Understand: this has not happened in 27 years. Not for me.
I know how it happened. I know how I did it. Within a year I will cure myself. And better than that, I believe I will be able to replicate it with other people with Tourette’s.
I cannot articulate it as well as I would like to yet, and definitely not from a scientific standpoint. But change is coming. If you have Tourette’s, there is help for you. I am studying myself and taking notes. I am working with some of the smartest people in the world when it comes to the body and mind.
None of them are doctors or neurologists. None of them are licensed to cut or prescribe.
Nobody else can solve my problem, so I can either accept my fate or solve it for myself.
I reject every diagnosis I have ever been given. I reject the pills and the treatments. I reject the support groups that, while they can be beneficial, do not always encourage me to take care of my own problems, but merely to join a commiseration club.
I refuse to endure. This is not about outlasting something. There is no compromise and there are no concessions. Nothing has power over me or my life. Nobody tells me what can or cannot happen with my life and my health.
If you are being controlled by something or someone. Fight. Now. Start today. Take what is yours. If you can’t win, at least make it a scrap that your opponent will never forget.
To hell with “The way things.”
To hell with “Nothing can be done.”
To hell with passive acceptance.
8400 seconds and counting.
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