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Surprises

Surprises, reversals, relief, profound shame, and violent realizations that I’ve experienced in the last three decades

  • The Cheerio was a worm
  • His sister was a dwarf and I’d just made a midget joke and she was standing right next to me
  • I’d fallen in love with the young woman in the picture but didn’t know she was my grandmother
  • Death is the end
  • Death is not the end
  • Death might not be the end
  • The Terror might be the scariest book ever
  • I was holding a grasshopper up to my eye and I had thought it was just a nickle
  • Life is hard
  • Kettlebells rule!
  • My parents aren’t perfect, now I can be their friend
  • It’s too easy to confuse being busy with being productive
  • There are worse things that being hit
  • As I walked up to the door to pick my date up, I realized that I’d forgotten to put a shirt on under my jacket
  • Friends can save your life
  • Friends can wreck your life
  • Things would have been much simpler if I’d met her with the lights on

Feel free to add to the list!

Josh

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  • Shane Hudson March 5, 2010, 3:17 am

    That the song Puff The Magic Dragon is about drugs!!!!

    Great list.

    • Josh Hanagarne March 6, 2010, 9:34 am

      Shane, I’ve heard that that’s a myth. I’m putting my best man on the investigation. That’s you!

  • Julianne Fuchs-Musgrave March 5, 2010, 5:20 am

    I am not perfect
    I am not going to be perfect
    I actually relish not needing to be perfect

  • Pearl Mattenson March 5, 2010, 5:46 am

    Brilliant Josh!

    Here are just 2 of mine after almost 5 decades!

    I can’t walk into to my teen-aged son’s room unannounced.
    Skin sags

  • Michelle March 5, 2010, 7:46 am

    I’ve found that confidence is better than any fashion accessory.

    To write my first book, all I needed was a challenge.

    I don’t need to be the best, I just need to be the most passionate.

    If I won the lottery, how would I fill my days?
    Would someone pay me money to do the thing that if I had no need for money, I’d do for free?

  • Hillary March 5, 2010, 8:17 am

    When people are mean, usually it’s b/c they are feeling insecure.

    Sometimes people are just plain mean.

    Either way, it has nothing to do with me.

  • Susan Giurleo March 5, 2010, 8:23 am

    A child’s smile is the greatest gift in the world.

    M&Ms might not melt in your hand, but can melt in the bottom of your bag

    Walking beats taking the bus any day

    • Josh Hanagarne March 6, 2010, 9:36 am

      I think the bus deserves to be its own circle of Hell.

  • Heather March 5, 2010, 9:17 am

    Death sucks.

    There are worse things in the world than being cheated on.

    There are TONS of cool people out there, you just need to find them.

    • Josh Hanagarne March 6, 2010, 9:36 am

      One thing I do love about the Internet is that it’s getting easier to find the people you might never have known otherwise.

  • The Naked Redhead March 5, 2010, 9:22 am

    -People are better than we’ve been led to believe.

    -People are worse than we’ve been led to believe.

    -Life is NOT over at thirty.

    -Vodka makes me crazy.

    -Murder is ok as long as it’s your Inner Critic.

    Fun post! 🙂

  • It really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

    The world is coloured in shades of grey, black and white are hard to come by.

    Love is acceptance.

    Marriage is a lifestyle.

    (Michelle I loved your- confidence is better than any fashion accessory!)

    • Josh Hanagarne March 6, 2010, 9:37 am

      I liked the confidence bit as well. I also really like “love is acceptance.”

  • Joy Tanksley March 5, 2010, 10:04 am

    Oh, these are ALL SO FABULOUS! Thank you, Josh, and everyone else! Here are some of mine…

    – Dog feet smell like Fritos.
    – I am whole. I always was. I always will be.
    – My perceived weight issues had nothing to do with food.
    – When I judge people, I’m just shedding light on my own crap.

    • Josh Hanagarne March 6, 2010, 9:37 am

      I am never going to be able to eat Fritos now without thinking of dog feet!

  • Anne March 5, 2010, 10:33 am

    My job, my relationships, nor my material things – They don’t define me. I DO!!!

    GREAT POST!!! 🙂

  • Dave Currie March 5, 2010, 10:37 am

    Life is like swimming in a waterfall. You *can* go backward but moving forward makes so much more sense.

  • ami March 5, 2010, 11:15 am

    LOVE these! Here are mine:

    People other than me might be right. This might mean that I am wrong.

    And that’s ok.

    Things that seem really scary can be really fun and rewarding.

    We love dogs. Dogs have bad judgment. We love beings with bad judgment.

    • Josh Hanagarne March 6, 2010, 9:38 am

      Oh, even breaking out a good old-fashioned syllogism at the end. Socrates would be proud of you.

  • Alida March 5, 2010, 11:29 am

    My children can make me laugh and want to cry…on the same day.

    My husband isn’t my life, but sharing my life with him makes it so enjoyable.

    I’m pretty cool…mostly…even when I’m a dork:)

  • Sean Schniederjan March 5, 2010, 11:44 am

    The two wings of the Eagle that wisk us away from the Dragon are adoration and contemplation.

  • Bamboo Forest - PunIntended March 5, 2010, 1:50 pm

    I come up with my greatest poetry while taking a dump.

    And…

    Putting up a fight while sporting a straitjacket is a superb form of exercise.

  • William Womack March 5, 2010, 1:52 pm

    Even when I believe that I’m 100% right, I still might be wrong.

    • Josh Hanagarne March 6, 2010, 9:39 am

      That’s some serious maturity there. I’ve been there. I’m still there!

  • Sanford March 5, 2010, 2:36 pm

    Love doesn’t conquer everything.

    Any growth involves change.

    Passion for life will keep you alive.

    There is a difference between being agressive and being assertive

    • Josh Hanagarne March 6, 2010, 9:39 am

      Aggressive vs. assertive has been my favorite comment in the thread so far. Wow.

  • John FitzGibbon March 5, 2010, 2:52 pm

    I have come across a few incontrovertible truths in the last couple of years.
    One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day.
    Every so often you gotta play a little Van Halen to remember why you don’t play a little Van Halen.
    Free pizza is approximately 3 fold better than pizza that you yourself paid for.
    Finally and this one is actually serious.
    Having no regrets seldom means you did it right, it usually means you did it the easy way.

    • Josh Hanagarne March 6, 2010, 9:40 am

      And now I’m off to break out the old electric guitar for another crack at Eruption.

  • Eric March 5, 2010, 2:59 pm

    The hokey-pokey really is what it’s all about.

  • Jodi Kaplan March 5, 2010, 3:46 pm

    Diamonds are NOT a girl’s best friend

    (LOL at Eric)

  • joe March 5, 2010, 5:52 pm

    if it feels like gas, although it is most likely gas, it is wise not to find out whilst at an important dinner.

    Despite what I might think at the time, I’m really not funnier while drinking.

    if I can’t wake up and go to sleep with a smile on my face, something needs to change.

  • Daisy March 5, 2010, 6:56 pm

    Common courtesy – isn’t.

  • Hulbert March 5, 2010, 11:07 pm

    When I was in high school, taking algebra 2 / trigonometry, I learned when my teacher told a student that the word opossum started with an “o” instead of a “p”. The student made a big deal out of it in class. When I think back on it, that kind of surprised me too! 🙂

    • Josh Hanagarne March 6, 2010, 9:41 am

      I’m not sure if I knew that or not. Shows how much thinking I do about those animals.

  • jenn March 6, 2010, 10:16 am

    What a great list YES “KETTLEBELLS RULE”!

    “Friends can save your life. Friends can wreck you life.” My heart was immediately lifted and then dropped when I read these and remembered personal experiences.

    I’m adding – My reality doesn’t have to be my identity.

  • Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot March 7, 2010, 5:40 am

    Another surprise – I’m still here, keeping my beady eye on you and enjoying what I read:)

    I like those exercise balls. They’re fun!

    • Josh Hanagarne March 7, 2010, 12:36 pm

      The only surprise there is that you have beady eyes.