Comments on: Why Perpetuation Of The Human Race Depends On Men, AKA Buy My Lemon Chicken: Guest Post by Ashley Ambirge

By: Ash

Ash — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 15:13:38 +0000

Bingo! Basic human instinct versus ideals that have been socially constructed for us (i.e. what a feminist is suppose to be and how s/he is suppose to act). It’s not to say that one’s right or one’s wrong, just simply that I hope someone will buy my lemon chicken. Furthermore, continuing down the path of old-fashioned, I don’t ask guys out. If they’re interested in me, they’ll ask me out, point blank. And I like it that way. If I want them to ask me out, I’ll make it known, but still want them to do the chasing. Some guys like it when girls get up the “guts” to ask them out, which is probably cool in some situations, but I’ve also found that guys love the chase just as much as I love them doing the chasing. Is it a game? Absolutely. Do other people hate that? Absolutely. But I guarantee that courtship, whether acknowledged or not, IS nothing more than one big, giant game. At first, anyway.

Tangent much, Ash? Ha, whoops.

By: Ash

Ash — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 15:07:46 +0000

You’ve thought long and hard about this! Interesting connections you made. See, guys – this is what women are thinking. Exhibit B.

By: Ash

Ash — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 15:05:50 +0000

Yeah! I’m not a big fan of all or nothing ANYTHING – a romantic feminist? Why the hell not!

By: Ash

Ash — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 15:05:05 +0000

Ha, that’s the thing – I don’t think there’s a link between being independent and liking it when a guy takes me out to dinner. I’m probably one of the most independent people on earth. That’s not to say that I need a guy to take me out to dinner, but rather that I really, really like it when he does. Furthermore, the only reward and pleasure coming out of that meal is the possibility of another!

By: Ash

Ash — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:45:45 +0000

Does your fiance read your comments, Chev?!?! Ha. Seriously, thank you for the words of support, and, while I can’t speak for all females, we are DEFINITELY judging you on a first date. We are hawking your every move! We pretty much decide after 2 minutes whether or not you could be “the one,” (even if we don’t believe in soul mates, ahem, we still like the romance of it all), but if the decision isn’t in your favor, it still could be by the end of the night if you play your cards right. Ha. If you want the girl, just pony up already and at least pull our her chair. You’ll already be far ahead of the other 98% of the men she’s been on a date with.

And I do wear bells, you didn’t know?

By: Ash

Ash — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:41:55 +0000

Hell yeah! There’s no reason why anyone should ever wait for a man to buy them anything, INCLUDING dinner. (1 Because you’ll get really hungry in the process and 2 Because you’re kicking ass in the world and therefore have plenty of your own purchasing power!) Thank you for sharing your story.

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 21:50:47 +0000

honestly, i think that the polite thing to do is to pay if *you* ask him out and for him to pay if *he* asks you out. seriously, who goes 50/50 on a date. that’s pretty lame. i think that, regardless of your ideology (i.e., feminism), every woman wants to be protected by her partner – just as men want to be nurtured. that’s just a basic human instinct.

that said, it takes a lot of courage to say this out loud, Ash. =)

By: Kristin

Kristin — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 04:05:31 +0000

I’ll be the first to admit my logic might be a little skewed in first-date-land and money. If the check hits the table at all, you know I probably didn’t care for the date, as a date (I have a lot of guy friends), too much.

If we have a sizzling conversation filled with ideology and people and stories and experiences and everything in my veins is burning to get out of public view with this guy as fast as I can, then I paid that check on that sneaky trip to the bathroom ten minutes before we finished.

I owe him nothing when we leave that restaurant (just in case things go sour, as they sometimes do); I’ve very clearly made my statement that I don’t need him to take care of me. But I’ve also challenged him to holding his own with me. I may secretly crave him throwing me against a wall (what woman doesn’t?) but he better be okay with the fact that I might throw him there first. If he’s smart, he’ll give me a run for my money and buy me ice cream.

If I don’t care for the date, I don’t really care if he pays or if it’s split, the ‘relationship’ isn’t going anywhere and I don’t care if he wants to care for me. Unless he shows up an hour and a half late (why did I bother waiting?) and we missed happy hour so the prices more than doubled and he doesn’t offer to pay the whole thing (I picked a happy hour place for a reason! I’m not rich!) Then I might care a little, but that has nothing to do with sex.

By: patti

patti — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 00:04:15 +0000

if i am ever single again, i swear to god i will sleep with the very first man who buys food (has money! can plan!), carries it home (physical strength!), cooks it palatably (has skillz! can focus!) , sets an attractive table (sensitive! “gets” ambience! has made an effort!) and rinses and stacks the plates, but doesn’t expect me to 1. wash up or 2. watch him while he washes up (has clean habits! values our time together!).