Thank you for the audio. I could relate

In the last couple-three years, I have been trying really hard to walk in peace and it’s the most difficult endeavor I’ve ever undertaken. I am extremely compassionate toward/protective of those I see as underdogs. A few weeks ago I had the epiphany that people who are actively rude are likely emotional underdogs (lack of self-esteem or suffering insecurities, etc.) and that makes it somewhat easier to be patient.

As an aside, your exchange with this man brings to mind conversations I had with my eldest son when he was younger. I spent a lot of time trying to help him find empowerment and peace where his TS was concerned, and one thing I told him on several occasions was, “Look, in the big scheme of things, you have it pretty great. Your tics have settled into a place where they no longer rule your life even though they are still sometimes pretty noticeable. You have an opportunity here: You can be an ambassador, because the person standing in front of you confused or asking questions or behaving ignorantly might one day run across someone whose TS is far more life-affecting than your own. If you take just a few minutes of your day to just educate them even a little bit, they might treat that next Touretter with more understanding and respect than they otherwise might have.” It took him a while to get that, but it was the one time in my life that I didn’t mind repeating something to one of my kids ad nauseum. >:o)

This is my first posting here but I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now and love it. It’s very inspiring to see people overcoming obstacles in their lives.

I used to work customer service and it was amazing how absolutely rude people could be. There are two instances (though I had MANY more) that stand out to me. First, was a guy who got severely ticked over the fact that a light bulb was in the wrong bin and he wasn’t getting it for the price that was on that bin. He stormed out. My manager noticed a $100 bill on my register – it was his. I ran out after him yelling, “Sir! Sir!” and finally a rather pissed sounding “SIR!!” He whipped around with a “WHAT!” and I calmly held out his money and said, “You’re $100 bill?” He shrank considerably. The second was when I worked the returns desk. I had a customer who was belligerent over his return and nothing I did satisfied him. Finally, we get him taken care of and he leaves. The lady behind him came up, put her hands over mine on the counter and calmly said, “It’s okay. I’m not in any hurry.” I cried. And it’s because of that job that I now try to be more understanding with other customer service people and people in general – I’ve been there and know what it’s like. Am I always nice and courteous. No. But I try!

Thanks for your stories.
-Elizabeth

So the quote was by Gandhi. I have two theories to float your way.

I once heard a theory that racism was actually an innate response to fear; something that was part of some people’s fight or flight response.

I wonder if rudeness of this nature would be similar.

The other theory I have is something I learned when I was teaching. There are learning disabilities that exist that I never could have made up. For instance some people do not have the ability to form a mental picture in their head of something.

So for example a child with this learning disability is in big trouble when a parent (who is unaware of the disability) asks them to go and clean their room. The child has no idea what the room should look like when it is clean because they are unable to generate the mental image of a clean room (I know this sounds weird but the disability does exist…blew me away when I learned it.)

A parent might come up an hour later and see nothing has been done and think the child is defying them, when in fact the kid doesn’t know what to do.

The solution in this case is to help the child clean the room and then take pictures of that clean room and post it where it is visible. The child can then use these pictures the next time their room needs to be cleaned.

There are others who can’t read body language. So for example, they might be “rude” by continuing to talk even though you have looked at your watch 27 times.

I think their are others who have no idea that they are rude or that their actions are completely inappropriate. This is not always the case with everyone, but maybe he was unable to read the visual/verbal cues of your situation and so he simply concluded you were intentionally doing something to be annoying.

Just a thought.

DD