Each Sunday I’m going to backtrack and revisit a past post in light of recent events. It’s only been about a week since How To Have Tourette’s Part Seven, but you may find this update interesting.
First of all, the response to No Excuses was humbling and wonderful. I talk a big game and I put a pretty good face on things most of the time, but the fact is, there are days when I’m absolutely brought to my knees by the things that happen. If I have ever given the impression that my attitude is always great, you have my permission to disabuse yourself of that notion with a vengeance.
But usually what you see it truly how I feel. And sometimes once I’ve written something, whatever I’ve written becomes the way I actually feel about things. I’m convinced that one of the keys to having peace of mind comes from allowing yourself to hurt–but just long enough to get it out of your system.
Your comments and support and Tweets and well-wishes and kind thoughts made those couple of days a lot more bearable. After uploading that video, I couldn’t decide whether to publish it or not. It must have taken me ten minutes of looking at the stupid “publish” button on WordPress before I finally just said, “Oh, screw it. You might as well get some traffic out of this mess.”
(It worked! BWAHAHAHAHA) But that’s not really the point:)
Videos and vertebrae
It might surprise you to know that I don’t watch my own videos. I can’t. I doubt I ever will. But from your reaction, this one was a doozy. It makes me even more glad I didn’t watch it.
The morning after publishing the video, I knew something was really wrong. My neck didn’t work. I couldn’t tilt my chin down and I couldn’t get comfortable no matter what. But I wasn’t too alarmed. It was bad, but I figured that it was just a severe stiff neck that would sort itself out.
Two days later, it was worse each morning and the days were getting quite long. I’d never been to a chiropractor before, but thought it was worth a try, given how desperate I felt.
“You have some vertebrae out of place,” said the chiropractor. There were two little bulges on my back that he could see, I just hadn’t been able to feel them. And worse, my head was no longer sitting on top of my neck. It was about one and a half inches to the right. It was so gross.
The Real Problem
Once I injure myself, I’m rarely able to let it heal. Something in the Tourette’s part of my brain really wants to ramp things up whenever something that is hurt. For instance, now that my neck was hurt, all of my other tics stopped, but my head suddenly started whipping around like a spastic sprinkler on top of my neck.
This was similar to what happened to my thumb after the fiasco in the movie theater. I’m thinking that, as far as immobilizing my head, maybe I need a sweet sarcophagus to walk around in. Maybe I could just cut the bottom out and have my feet free while my shoulders and head were tucked in snugly.
Oh, and there would have to be eye holes.
The good news
After several adjustments, my neck and spine are fine. I feel as good as I ever have. No problems lifting. No problems other than the usual foolishness.
Again, thank you for the support. Most support groups don’t have a thousand people in them. I’m not sure that filming it was the right choice, but I got over 200 emails from people who might disagree.
Thank you. Really.
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