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Aliens And Avocados

During five rare minutes of peace, I decided to turn on the camera and tell another story.  Be warned!  It is terrifying and eerily relevant!

Consider this a follow up to Two Super-Awesome Stories About Scars.


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  • Casey September 8, 2009, 5:50 am

    Nice suit man! Do you always get dressed when sitting down in front of the webcam? 🙂

    I’m glad to know I’m not the only guy who potentially gave his little sister shrink worthy bouts of terror!

  • Pete | The Tango Notebook September 8, 2009, 7:06 am

    My sister’s never been abducted by aliens, but once when she was a wee little girl, I held a remote controlled race car tire up to her hair and pushed the joystick on the controller!

    The tire span and span and wound up her hair in all the little nooks and crannies of the tiny wheel well. It took us hours to get it out, but in the meantime, she had a stupid looking remote controlled car stuck to her head 🙂

    Ahh… memories.

    • Josh Hanagarne September 8, 2009, 7:16 am

      @Pete. That is one of the best stories I’ve ever heard. Did you get any pictures? I’ll be smiling all day.

      @Casey. I’m usually undressed in front of the webcam, but that’s a different blog. You’re not ready for it.

  • Tumblemoose September 8, 2009, 7:20 am

    Ahh, Josh. Thanks for the vid. It was darned near like meeting you in person.

    About that alien abduction thing, let me tell you I think that there… wait! That noise! That vibration! Sorry, but I have to go, the Aluminum foil helmet on my head is goin’ off like crazy!


    • Josh Hanagarne September 8, 2009, 7:29 am

      George, good luck. I hope they take you somewhere nice where you can still get caribou steaks.

  • Pete | The Tango Notebook September 8, 2009, 7:21 am

    No pictures, just a lifetime of remarks whenever we see someone playing with a remote-controlled car. If we ever pass a Toys R Us, forget it, I get reamed for the rest of the day!

    • Josh Hanagarne September 8, 2009, 7:30 am

      Pete, my sister-in-law has a great story about getting her long hair dragged into some electric egg beaters while making brownies–I think it was brownies. They all had a great laugh, except her.

  • Pete | The Tango Notebook September 8, 2009, 8:08 am

    How did the brownies turn out?

  • Casey September 8, 2009, 8:59 am

    I remember once when my sister was a sleep my brother and I took some sharpie markers and basically colored in her entire face. Her face was red,blue, nad black for about a week and then it faded into looking like a giant bruise.

    Not only was my sister furious, but my mom kept getting all these looks from people thinking she was beating her daughter! Thats what I call 2 birds, 1 stone.

  • Pete | The Tango Notebook September 8, 2009, 9:11 am

    Casey, that’s horrible(y funny)! I have a scar on my right thumb from showing someone how to break bricks in my college parking lot 8 years ago…

    That hurt.

  • Matt September 8, 2009, 10:01 am

    My brother just visited me this weekend. We were reminiscing about the time when my sisters had bunk beds and their ceiling had removable tiles. One night my brother sneaked up into the ceiling and slowly removed one of the tiles. He then extended his arm down so that his hand was within a few inches of her face. There was a lot of screaming.

  • Casey September 8, 2009, 10:04 am

    Yes Pete, I’ve been told I was a horrible brother growing up.

    I was also one of those people who thought it was hilarious to teach my young impressionable sisters phrases that (I thought) were hilarious to come out of a youngsters mouth in public.

  • Pete | The Tango Notebook September 8, 2009, 10:21 am

    You’re one of those brothers, eh? Careful, they never forget those moments. I think my sister had revenge on her mind when she recorded The Little Mermaid over my Mario Brothers VHS tape.

    I was furious!
    (Was? Still am.. that was my favorite cartoon!)

  • lori September 8, 2009, 10:22 am

    Hey Josh,

    It will be difficult to live with images burned into my brain of you with avocados over your eyes spooking your sister.

    Megan, you have my full support. Your brother is a certified goofball. ‘Nuff said.

    (And, my brother made a home-made pistol once, stuck a firecracker in it, and lit it – pointed in my direction. I lost my hearing in one ear for two weeks and part of my hair turned into a fire ball. What’s the deal with big brothers, anyway?)

  • lori September 8, 2009, 10:28 am

    I was remiss saying that I enjoyed your video, Josh. That was really funny! Nice suit, too…

  • Megan September 8, 2009, 10:43 am

    JOSH!! I was not abducted by aliens. I did think that when I was younger, like WAY younger. 12 or 13. I have come to realize that I did not get abducted by aliens….So, yeah. I did think that, and thanks again for trying to scare the crap out of me that night!

    • Josh Hanagarne September 8, 2009, 10:53 am

      @Megan. It was only a week or two ago. Don’t lie.

      @Lori: I have an ear story, too. My brother cut my other sister’s earlobe with a pair of safety scissors when they were really little. He didn’t know what it would do, but I don’t think either of them have forgotten the wailing.

      @Matt: That is awesome. Did it only happen the one time? I would have screamed too.

      @Casey: marking your sister’s face AND implicating your parents in a crime. Well played.

  • Gayze September 8, 2009, 11:51 am

    Man — am I glad I’m an only child.

    Thanks for the laugh, Josh!

  • Niel September 8, 2009, 7:46 pm

    That ear story sounds horrible.

    • Josh Hanagarne September 8, 2009, 7:49 pm

      Niel, it was. It was the first (only?) time my little brother got spanked. It was pretty scary for us all. Most of all for the poor kid with blood running out of her split ear. Yikes.

  • Leah September 8, 2009, 8:49 pm

    What about a little salsa on the side? –you know, the bloody globby stuff to offset the avocado?

    This confirms it: boys are mean!

    • Josh Hanagarne September 8, 2009, 9:22 pm

      Leah, everyone knows that aliens don’t have bloody gobby stuff on their eyes. Grow up!

  • Helen Hoefele September 8, 2009, 9:38 pm

    Nice suit!

    I guess I’ll have to thank my brother for never doing anything like that to me or my sister. Actually no one in my family was ever much of a practical joker. And, no major scars either. I guess I had a boring childhood in comparison. Oh, well…

    • Josh Hanagarne September 8, 2009, 10:15 pm

      Helen, Boring can be all right. Let it be. Careful what you wish for, and all that.

  • Jimmy T.Rets March 4, 2010, 11:30 am

    Hey, that’s my saying (well I don’t own it but you know what I mean), “Keep your eyes on the skies.” Been saying it a lot lately funnily enough. Love your site Josh!