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The Too-Short Robe, Bronzini, The Haunted Painting, and More News From The Road

We are in Atlanta, sharing a room with a painting of a woman who has a very pointy nose and a butt that looks like she’s been sitting in a mud puddle.  In the dark last night I had the strange feeling that she had jumped off the painting and was running around the room, but perhaps it was only a dream…

The New York trip is over.  Yesterday I did eight radio interviews over the course of about six hours.  I was in a small, soundproof room in the Penguin Media studios. When I sat down, I knew my tics would be bad.  But, a soundproof room!

I tested it out, yelling my head off, involuntarily at first.  Then, when it seemed like people really couldn’t hear me on the other side of the wall, I started yelling, “Help, I’m dying!” to see if I could get a reaction.  My editor said, “They’re probably just too polite to tell you they can hear you.”

I stuck my head out and asked a man working on a laptop, “Hey, can you hear me?”

He said, “Oh yes.  But it’s fine.”

And so I stopped.

Also: we’re in Atlanta at the W Hotel.  It kinds of looks like it was designed by Dr. Seuss. We’re going to feel very “With it,” as our wonderful driver said.  Indeed!

We’re in the handicapped suite, which is identical in every way except there are hand rails everywhere.

I tried on the complimentary robe this morning.  It doesn’t even reach to my elbows.

Also: the USA Today piece just came out.

I did the interview during a lunch by the NYPL library, Main Branch.  Janette, my wife, hates fish more than anything.  When the waitress gave her the rundown of the specials, she said, “Oh, that sounds great, give me the bronzini!” When the bronzini came, alas, it turned out to be two giant pieces of fish. Crestfallen!  But they whisked it away and brought her a nice salad, which she nibbled at like a rabbit.

Also: I got the bulkhead seat on the plane.  It was better than first class.  I literally could not reach the wall in front of me with my foot, and I tried, to the great annoyance of my cramped plane mates.

Also: This morning I ate some peanut butter french toast.  It had about an inch of peanut butter in the middle of it.  Insanely good, but I felt like a huge hog after nibbling at the New York baby portions for three days (they were great, but tiny!)

And: yesterday the man who drove us to the airport in NYC made me laugh so hard.  He had stories about everyone he had ever driven.  He said, “This was fun, I usually get told don’t talk to the clients.” He took credit for many of Chris Rock’s best jokes. And for all I know, he should.

Tonight is the talk and signing in Decatur.  Brad Cohen, founder of camp Twitch and Shout is going to be there, and I can’t wait to meet him.  He does a lot of fantastic work for the Tourette’s community and I’ve looked up to him for years.  It’s going to be a lively night, I guarantee it.

If you are in the area, come on down.  We’re going to have fun.

St. Louis tomorrow!

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Eric Hill May 9, 2013, 1:50 pm

    Sounds like you are having a blast!

    I’m 200 pages into your memoir and just wanted to let you know I am really enjoying it. I appreciate all the 1990s references and angst, along with many of the other experiences you recount since I’m the same age. Really well done, Josh.

    Back to my reading. Enjoy the rest of your tour/trip. I wanted to make it down to St. Louis or up to Chicago when you will be there, but it’s not in the cards. Best of luck, anyhow!

  • Sue Garvey May 10, 2013, 7:51 am

    Hi Josh:

    I’m about 1/2 way through the book. I couldn’t wait to get it; then it got sent to the wrong address and then, I almost didn’t want to read it because it would be over. Do you ever feel that way about books you can’t wait to read?

    I’m loving it, but clearly you saved some of your best library stories for the book! What I really enjoy is how the disparate influences in your life are coming together to make you you. I can’t wait to find out more.

    Enjoy your time on the road. I’m guessing St. Louis has some bigger food for you – we know how to eat in the Midwest!

    • Josh Hanagarne May 10, 2013, 3:20 pm

      I feel that way about just about every book I want to read! I’ve been eating like an absolute hog since Atlanta yesterday. St. Louis has not helped me scale back, no indeed.

  • Jennifer May 10, 2013, 8:19 am

    Ha ha! I love the heck out of your stories 😉 It sounds like you’re having quite the adventure!!

    • Josh Hanagarne May 10, 2013, 3:18 pm

      It’s been really fun. Today’s the first day where I’m really just exhausted, but it’s been such a great time.

  • Tonja May 11, 2013, 3:41 pm

    Josh,
    Your last two posts made me laugh out loud! The sound proof room story was great!
    I just received my copy of your book (ordered a month ago from Amazon!) Reading the introduction on the blog has made me very excited for the rest!
    Glad you are enjoying the tour. Wish you much success–couldn’t happen to a nicer guy!