Ladies and gentlemen, I love this place more than anything, but it has been a singularly strange stretch at the library.
In the past two weeks, I have overheard the following phrases, some of which were shouted:
“You Christlike maniac!”
“Show me where it says I can’t wash dishes in the drinking fountain!”
“Oh man, not another lazy eye…”
“The bibliophile is extinct. Give me a Triscuit.”
“I need to know where Russia gets off calling itself the motherland, when everybody knows that Africa’s the real motherland, and I need to know right now.’
“Man, nobody reads no more.”
That last one isn’t true. The others, I can’t vouch for one way or the other.