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Poll: Would You Make a Good Politician?

I consider myself an optimist, but American politics is an area where I let my cynicism rage unchecked.  I try to stay informed, and every time I pay attention to a politician for any appreciable length of time, I wind up disgusted.

But it’s election time, and so I pay attention, despite having almost zero faith in any one candidate’s ability to change anything.

The more I pay attention to politics, the more I realize that I do it for one of the same reasons I read dystopian literature or watch war movies: because I wonder how I would perform in extreme situations. 

How would I stack up as a politician? The short answer is:

I would be craptastic.

Here are a few things I see as barriers to entry for me:


Obviously, if you’re going to run, you need money.  I don’t have it and I don’t want to raise it. And if I was trying to raise funds, I’d probably wind up throwing a bake sale, getting bored, eating all the cookies, and dropping out of the race.


Whenever I’ve told lies, it hasn’t worked out well.  I either get caught or my conscience eats at me and I fess up.  Sooner or later I would need to say something for political points that I didn’t believe.  It wouldn’t work for me.  If I tried, I’d wind up miserable.


Going out once a month to talk to a group of special educators or kids with disabilities is great for me.  Giving five speeches in a day and standing around for hours just to shake hands and traveling at a breakneck pace with no rest would not work. I’d become a surly ninny.

No time to read

Nothing cuts into my pleasure reading.  So if Romney tags me for the VP slot, I’m afraid I shan’t answer the call: I’m getting into Ramsey Campbell again and that must take precedence.


If you put a microphone in front of me all day today, I would eventually say something that you could take out of context and mock me with.  Or maybe I’d slip up, babble, and give you something stupid to use in context.

I say that I don’t really worry about what people think about me, but the truth is that not many people think about me, so it’s easy to say.  I can’t imagine what it would feel like to have every utterance torn apart by about half the people who pay attention to politics.

Being a nightly target for comedians would get to me.

These are huge generalizations and of course there are exceptions, but I wish I saw more of the exceptions.

I could go on, but I want to hear from you.  Would you make a good politician?  Why or why not? Are you as ready for this election to end as I am?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Chihuahua Zero August 7, 2012, 11:17 am

    Nah. I’m too smart to do politics. :p

    On the more serious side, being a politician makes you a target of debate and polarizing hatred. Some justified (since no one’s perfect), and some not.

    I’m waiting for the election to end too. Let’s say that one of the candidates could potentially screw me over in the near future.

  • Eric | Eden Journal August 7, 2012, 12:19 pm

    Since I don’t watch much TV, I tend to miss most of the mudslinging. I fear I’m too honest to be a politician. Sadly honesty and politics don’t go together.

  • Spencer August 7, 2012, 1:15 pm

    “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men.”

    -Lord John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton-

    • Josh Hanagarne August 7, 2012, 1:37 pm

      Don’t quote people with so many names, Spencer.

  • Daisy August 8, 2012, 9:52 am

    I am heavily involved in local politics, but I do not run for office myself. I am too thin skinned to survive the attack tactics that seem to be the norm today.

    Unfortunately, the best leaders are not always the best candidates. Those who campaign well are not always the best lawmakers and leaders.

  • cinderkeys August 8, 2012, 8:19 pm

    Not me. I’m not a people person. I mean, I like certain specific people, and there aren’t too many I don’t like, but I’m not very good with the ones I don’t know.

  • Josh Arnold August 9, 2012, 10:28 am

    I quote from Olin Miller: “We probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do.” Its funny because I saw this quote yesterday in the daily breeze.

    I’m also with you when it would make my mouth taste bad whenever I’d have to straight out lie… then get called for it later on a talk show or something.

    Also, I don’t gots that kind of money!