Okay, a few wonderful souls keep asking how I’m doing, so here’s the update:
The Tourette’s is currently back, in a big way. The most challenging thing about this resurgence is that during my respite, all of my tic muscles and tendons withered up! The body strengthens itself and creates tissue based on whatever movements and positions it performs and assumes most frequently.
Well, I’d built up a delightful tolerance to a whole bunch of nonsense. Then the nonsense stopped–meaning, the specific movements of the tics stopped–and now those movements feel clumsy, awkward, and like I haven’t done them in a long time. It’s not entirely unlike muscle soreness, I’m just sore in weird places.
It’s annoying and tiring and I do not accept it. I thrashed it in its former incarnation. I’ll do it with this one as well. It’s probably just going to take some time while I figure out which questions to ask.
Currently, strength training makes it worse. Sitting makes it worse. Standing makes it worse. Ditto breathing, food, sleep, work, walking, crawling, running, etc.
I sound like a goose riding around on a blaring foghorn.
I am jerking and twitching around like the most dashing, debonair, muscular marionette you’ve ever seen.
My blue eyes, usually the toast of the globe, are bloodshot and stupid-looking.
I am writing the book in very small bursts because I have to psyche myself up just to sit down and type, because typing is when things are currently getting really erratic with my hand tics.
I’ve got too much crap to do to be sidelined. And it’s still getting done.
Don’t be inspired by that. I’m cranky and annoyed and I want to go home sick and I want to pull someone’s arm off (not yours!).
But I won’t. I am fulfilling my obligations and playing the productive gentleman out of pure spite.
I’m not great company right now.
But as always, thanks for the concern, the emails, and for letting me whine.
And now? Off to deadlift at lunch.The bar will bend and I’ll pretend it means something and take another step forward and be stronger tomorrow because of it.