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Worst Vacation Ever

chevy chase vacation

The Griswold's on vacation - Theirs was better

On Wednesday evening last week, I said good-bye to the library for five days. Below I will give you a breakdown of what happened each day of what was going to be a wondrous vacation.

Thursday morning

My son had had an ear infection that wasn’t getting better. He is a stubborn beast and even with two of us holding him and trying every trick to get him to take his antibiotic orally, he wasn’t getting enough of it to help him. (the nurses would bear this out later in the day, saying they had “never seen a kid so determined not to take his medicine”).

The doctor said “Let’s give him a shot of Rocephin.” After the shot he broke out in hideous hives and was loaded into an ambulance ten minutes later. The doctor said in 27 years he had never seen a child have a bad reaction to this drug.

“How worried should we be?” I asked.

“It could be…as bad as it can be,” said the doctor.

Janette rode in the ambulance while I went home and grabbed clothes. By the time I got there they had decided that he was going to be okay, but they kept him for 24 hours for observation.

That evening I performed a routine adjustment in my nether regions and found a giant lump, about the size of a grape.

Dear oh dear.


I went and picked my son up and took him home. Then I headed over to the Medical Clinic for a fabulous exam and ultrasound of my man-bits, which were getting increasingly painful.

They said that it was unlikely that it was cancer, but couldn’t rule it out. They would not have the results until Monday at the earliest.

“Enjoy your weekend!”


It took six adults eight hours to put together the most massive swingset you have ever seen. This was actually a very nice day, but I could barely walk because of the increased soreness of old Righty, substituting a sad little waddle instead as I handed people wrenches and tried not to be completely useless.


All three of us are now sick on top of everything else. Fevers, chills, coughing, a veritable symphony of hacking and gags. Oh my.


Nothing too terrible has happened yet, but it’s only 8:52. I’m waiting on the results of my super-duper testicular ultrasound. If you have fingers, please cross them. It’s exhausting to be nervous and I’m sick of it.

Update…everything (there are two masses) is benign. I might need surgery if the pain gets bad, but I’m not planning on it.

Sitting is a challenge right now, so I may not get much writing done this week. If any of you have been dying to send me a guest post, this might be a good time for it, dearest homies.

And of course, I would like to hear about your own worst vacations.



Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Amy May 23, 2011, 9:29 am

    I’m glad that your son is okay. I hope that there is nothing serious to worry about. Any particular topic you want guest posts on?

    My worst vacation would be our “honeymoon” three years ago. We wanted to go to Holiday World & Splashing Safari, but our wedding was Leap Day. We decided to wait until the middle of May to go. We got a friend to go with us because I knew that Lane (he was 7.5 at the time) would be pissed if we didn’t take him. Then Lane told one of my sisters and she came with her family including my Mom who lived with her at the time.

    We spent Saturday hanging out with my family watching their kids so they could rid on rides. Our friend who came with us ended up not being any help in watching Lane. Michael and I got no alone time the whole weekend.

    To make it worse I forgot to bring my meds so I was having allergy issues with the different pollens and chlorine in the pool. Lovely to have a running nose and hives when you’re supposed to be having fun. They had benadryl there to buy. I took some of that and went to lay down in a chair by the pool so I could pass out.

    On the way home Michael and I decided that that wouldn’t be our honeymoon. We are planning to go on a honeymoon once Emma (8 weeks tomorrow) weans. It could be a while though because Alan (26 months) is still nursing so she may be in it for the long haul as well.

  • Jodi Kaplan May 23, 2011, 12:37 pm


    Keeping fingers, toes, legs, and eyes crossed.

    I’ll go read something, and write a review for you.

  • Daisy May 23, 2011, 2:25 pm

    Crossing fingers and toes for you and your family.

  • Todd May 24, 2011, 5:29 am

    Josh, I hope your son is feeling better.

    When you say that you went to a “Medical Clinic”, are you referring to an actual doctor’s office, or one of those in-n-out med clinics? If it’s the later, do not take their word. Get an appt ASAP with a real doc (sorry, but at those little cliinics, you’ll often be seen by a PA, and that’s not good enough in this case).

    When I found a mass on one of my testies, my GP sent me to a Urologist, who had an ultrasound done.

    I have a family history of testicular cancer in my family, so I freaked out when I found a mass. Turned out to be a spermatocele, which most docs will not operate on unless it becomes a major problem.

    Keep us posted, and I’ll keep you in my prayers.

  • Heather May 24, 2011, 6:42 am

    Glad to know you’re feeling somewhat better. Glad to hear the kid’s better, and I hope Janette gets better soon too. You guys should have composed a symphony of hacking and coughing, called it “The Symphony of Sickness,” then taken the show on the road and opened for Megadeth, which would then follow up with “Symphony of Destruction.” Sorry your man-bits have issues. I’d get the lumps removed, simply becasue. . . well. . . .they are lumps. . . .get well soon Hanagarnes!