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Audiobook and DVD Review: The Secret

the secret audiobook

Psst....can I tell you...The Secret?

Today I will prove that the law of attraction works.

I avoided Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret for a long time, until I saw it on Netflix streaming. It was either that or Sharktopus!!! When we’re divided Janette gets the tie-breaker, so I still don’t know what happened with the Shark and Octopus mashup.

We watched about 10 minutes of it before Mrs. WSL threw the remote up in the air and said “enjoy yourself.” By the time the remote landed in my lap she was outside doing something productive. Let’s say she went out to knit blankets for orphans. No, she went rogue and was performing unnecessary surgeries on the hobos that tramped through her garden.

The movie was the most spastic hodge-podge of quick-cuts I have ever seen. It was like the producer watched The Pillars of The Earth, The Da Vinci Code, and National Treasure, and then handed them over to a music video director and said “Make this more incomprehensible.”

When the video director finished, the footage had been spliced into approximately 90 billion frames, each lasting less than an eight of a second.

Then the footage was delivered to whoever cut the action sequences from the Bourne movies. That person refilmed some of the frames, shortened others that were lagging, and then rolled the camera down a hill.

Also, someone was hired to hastily draw a sword from a sheath every time the action jumped to another 1/8 second scene of men in powdered wigs unfurling  some parchment or squinting. That is the sound those events apparently make. Sssssnick.

Mouths in closeup open slightly but don’t say anything. Eyes widen.

A voice that is speaking around a mouthful of pebbles says things like “For centuries, men have…to protect…and wealthy….and…quantum…and if you only….”

Then a procession of torsos and heads appear. I know they were saying something, but I was distracted by the graphics. They each had a little totem floating by their head symbolizing something too profound for me.

For instance, one elderly gentleman wearing a necktie that I really liked had a golden key spinning in the air just over his left ear. The key was exploding with light. Exploding, I tell you.

They provide quotes like:

Choose your thoughts carefully…you are a masterpiece of your life

Set a goal so big that if you achieved it, it would blow your mind. (WOW!!!!)(emphasis and exclamation points mine)

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein. ( I love Einstein and figured that if he endorsed The Secret I’d better start paying attention.

But then the heads disappeared and more men were scurrying around in ill-lit catacombs. Then there was a brief shot of some Pope’s hat. Then a shoe with a buckle on it. Fast foosteps! Ssssssnick….

After 15 minutes I had a seizure and decided to watch Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus. For whatever reason I was no longer intrigued by Sharktopus.

The Secret audiobook

I hadn’t read a 158 yet for the Dewey Reading Project, and I was looking for one. Well, well, well…we meet again. I couldn’t resist, which I suspect is because someone was manifesting their desire for me to listen to the man with the golden key over his shoulder while I drove to and from work for four days.

I don’t have much to say about the audiobook. It was basically a collection of quotes from the same people from the DVD. They’d pop in and say something. Then there would be a crazy harp glissando. Think Axl Rose raking the piano keys at the end of November Rain, but with a harp.

Or there’d be a pan flute or what sounded like a medicine man chanting. A rattle would shake. Wind chimes. Mystery. Wonder. Then someone knowing, I suspect, relatively little about quantum physics, would make a point using the term quantum physics.

But…does it work? Of course it works. There is only one explanation for why I would have the urge to write this post.

One of you “put it out there” into the universe and I got to play a role in your manifestation. You might have a golden key spinning around your head.

My own private little rotating object would probably be a large block of Western Family cheddar cheese…

Whichever one of you did it, fess up.

Josh

PS: I am putting it out into The Universe, which is what I call Facebook, that you like this post.

If you’re looking for a non-Secretive thought on hard work and getting things done, I think you’ll enjoy that post there.

 

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Carol May 6, 2011, 8:30 am

    Fantastic!

  • Cheryl Ragsdale May 6, 2011, 10:13 am

    Um, I think it was me. I watched about half of the Secret last week when nothing else was on telly. Then last night, I could have sworn I heard the music from the Secret coming out of my roommate’s room. I noticed the DVD was no longer on top of the DVD player. Hmmm….

    When I asked her if she was watching the Secret, she said, “No, I’m on Skype talking to a friend in Germany…in German.”

    OK. I think I can distinguish the difference between the two. But, none of my business. Maybe she misunderstood me. That happens.

    So, with all that, the law of attraction works in mysterious ways. Whilst I wasn’t thinking of you directly, when one of us moves, we all move. Ripples flow out and impact us all – like Brownian Motion. We ricochet off each and follow new pathways that maybe we weren’t intending to because we just got pinged.

    Consider yourself pinged. Now, your blog post is pinging others 🙂

  • Big Will May 7, 2011, 5:22 am

    While i sit here atop my throne
    shirtless
    windows open
    light bursting in all around
    French Roast steaming in my chalis
    the key spins
    the powdered wig holds power
    i scurry not
    for there is no secret

    I had no idea they made a movie. Next stop: Hippocerous vs. Sharktopus [Osama Fin Laden?]

  • cinderkeys May 7, 2011, 11:32 am

    Having not seen or read The Secret, I’ve always wondered if manifestation supplements your other efforts, or if it’s a stand-alone technique. In other words, if I want a grand piano, do I think extremely positive thoughts about the grand piano while working hard to earn the money for it? Or do I think extremely positive thoughts about how I’m definitely going to get that piano whilst watching Gilligan’s Island reruns all day, and then somebody decides to give me a piano?

    I had hoped that your post would provide enlightenment, but no such luck. I can’t blame you, though. All those spinning, exploding keys can’t make it easy to absorb the specifics of the message.

  • Kameron May 8, 2011, 7:55 am

    I love the Secret but felt there wasn’t enough talk about “action”. Thoughts x Action = Results. We simply can’t sit around with positive thoughts and expect the world to improve without doing something to make it better. Faith without actions…..