Can you define “being in love?”
If so, can you be in love with two people at once? Two people at the same time, in the same way?
I find this question absolutely fascinating. When I was in High School my ideas about romance would have aligned with Don Quixote’s and many of the characters from The Canterbury Tales.
This was chivalric love, the notion that there was one person for everyone. You were supposed to know who that was, and then sit around and pine and year and long for them. And if you couldn’t have them, which was often the case, it was like being stricken with a malady, a wasting disease. You’d stare at the maiden in the window and become a pale sack of skin and bones that would stretch against your agonized heart.
I liked the idea that the experience was supposed to be intense, incomparable to anything else (although writers certainly try).
Then I met the woman I would marry and it was exactly the way it was supposed to be, except neither one of us had to pine or long or yearn for long. We knew what we wanted, we got married, and we’re now coming up on 10 years.
I differ these days from the chivalric ideas about love in that I don’t believe there is only one person for each of us in the sense that “I’m only capable of being in love with one person.” Do I love my wife more than anyone else? Absolutely, except for my son, but if you’re a parent you know that your feelings for your kids are “not even playing the same sport,” to paraphrase Jewels’ foot massage lecture from Pulp Fiction.
I could absolutely be in love with two people at once, given what I understand about love and how I define it. She might completely disagree. (if she ever sees it, maybe this whole post is a test to see if she’s reading the blog as she claims to).
But I don’t want to be, so I’m not on the prowl. I’m beyond happy with what I have, so I don’t have much interest in testing out my theory.
So for you, what do you think? According to your conceptions about love, romance, and partnerships, could you love two people in the same way, at the same time?
And now that you’re feeling romantic, you might enjoy this post about the best romance novels.
If you liked this post, please Subscribe To The RSS feed.
And have you joined the World’s Strongest Book Club?