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Shoes Are for Commies, and 18 Other Interesting Things Overheard At The Library

shoes

Shoes are for commies?

People watching can be fun. I think I enjoy hearing snippets of conversations even more most of the time, particularly if I have no idea who is talking. Some things are memorable enough that I write them down for fear that they might be forgotten. Some are so unforgettable that the paper is not necessary.

The statements below come from the last five years I have spent in libraries, and comprise both categories.

Sometimes sad, sometimes funny, sometimes appalling,  and almost always stuff that would be impossible to make up.

  • If you call it stadium seating one more time I’ll kill you.
  • What do you mean “Why did I go on the floor?” The bathroom was closed for cleaning!
  • And then he drank the water right out of the vase!
  • That was my boy. I guess they won’t let me adopt him back. I miss him.
  • Solitaire is better than Warcraft.
  • I’ll be quiet if you give me some Cheetos.
  • I’m not sure if I’m going to have time for 8 seasons of Walker, Texas Ranger. Just give me 7.
  • AT&T has made my life a live Hell. I never forgive them.
  • For the record, America’s homeless are superior to any other countries’.
  • The immigrants don’t want my job. Nobody does. Including me.
  • It’s been a good day so far. The homeless must be somewhere else on a field trip or something.
  • Because I’m her friend and I want to know when she works, even if she says she doesn’t know me!
  • Shoes are for commies.
  • Nobody tells me where I can’t and can roll my dice.
  • I’m a veteran and I get to eat these chips by the computer.
  • Oh my God, if I see one more vegetarian in here I’m–Yes, I can tell them by the way they dress.
  • Books are crap.
  • Books are gay.
  • Who would pay $1000 for a do rag?
  • Man, China is so f***** up.

I love this place.

Josh

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Ryan February 19, 2011, 12:39 pm

    “When can a white man get on a computer around here” and “You’re messing with the wrong dude (finger point) are among my favorites.

  • Kosmo @ The Soap Boxers February 19, 2011, 3:56 pm

    “That was my boy. I guess they won’t let me adopt him back. I miss him.”

    Wow. Sad.

  • Gustavo February 20, 2011, 3:32 pm

    They are so good some of them could be called micro stories.

  • Todd February 20, 2011, 4:09 pm

    Shoes are for capitalism… sandals are for commies.

  • Amanda February 21, 2011, 3:06 pm

    This is post is funny to me because I can relate to it.

    Through college I was bartending and serving at a local Applebee’s. While serving one day, as I walked past of of my tables I overheard a piece of their conversation-

    ” ….And that wasn’t the first time I saw my dad naked!”

    I laughed so hard I could barely serve them with a straight face!

  • A.T. March 7, 2011, 1:46 pm

    HA! This post reminded me of a website I ran into a few weeks ago, which reminded me of this blog
    http://lovetheliberry.blogspot.com/
    It highlights the hilarious/strange goings on at a library. Good stuff.