by Josh Hanagarne on July 30, 2010
presto!
All through my younger days, I wanted so badly for there to be magic formula or pill that would help me sprout muscles in an instant. I had this vision of myself swaggering into choir class–as if anyone could swagger into choir!–with my arms and legs bursting from my clothes.
Instead I played a lot of video games, guitar, and did a whole lot of hanging out. I also ate a ton of candy and drank soda like it was water. A lot of the coaches and some of my friends who were more muscular told me I was a “hardgainer.” That’s someone who can’t seem to put on weight or muscle no matter what they do.
I assumed it was true. It was easier that way. I didn’t have to work hard and I could pretend that there was nothing I could do about it. Like just about everything in life, it’s easier (and more natural, some might say) to talk and wish than to take action.
In the last few years I’ve gotten a lot more serious about my strength training, as you know if you’re a regular reader. And I know that some of you regular readers are ironheads like I am, so I would like to quickly share what I’ve learned about building muscle in the last year. I’ve put on over 30 pounds of lean mass since September of 2009. The funny thing is, it wasn’t hard! It wasn’t a magic pill, but it doesn’t feel like it took much more effort than a pill would have.
The best way to build muscle, according to the anecdotal evidence of yours truly, rests on these three points: [Read more...]
by Josh Hanagarne on July 29, 2010
The ever-angsty and tediously undead Edward Cullen appeared at my window last night requesting that I interview him. I said no. Then he wouldn’t leave and he began to weep with an irritating fervor that only hardened my resolve. But he still wouldn’t leave. I was finally annoyed (and tired) enough that I agreed to ask him two questions, provided I got to choose the questions. He agreed. Below is the text of the interview. At the end, in the comments, please ask Edward additional questions and I’ll forward them.
Josh: Why are you always such a big baby?
Edward: I do not know. I would have it otherwise, but then of course…it is not otherwise, you are correct. My heart yearns for the drug which…you see, abs and lips and sparkles are nice but…but the yearning. The longing. It is as if…but…boo hoo hoo. Boo hoo hoo. I vant…I vant…
Josh: What are you talking about? Why are you such a big baby?
Edward: I am a sad big baby because I am. (sniffles) But thank you, ’tis a relief to finally admit it. The charade has gone on for far–
Josh: ‘Tis,” huh?
Edward: Yes, ’tis. But as I said, the charade has–
Josh: Yeah, that’s enough. Okay, do you hereby admit, on the record, that as vampires go, you are 100,000,000 times less desirable than Count Chocula?
Edward: I do. I do indeed. You could multiply that number by a factor of 19 million (he pronounces this milliooooon for some reason) and it would still be true.
Josh: I thought you might. Now get out of here. Go back to Hot Topic. No, wait a second…can I ask one more question?
Edward: You may.
Josh: You’re on team Jacob, right?
Edward: Oh yes. Ohhhhhh yes. May I have a hankie?
Josh: You may not. I don’t vant to give you one.
THE END
When the interview ended, Edward turned and zoomed away into the night, but not before I saw that he was wearing Hello Kitty berets in his hair, which complimented his sagging maroon stirrup-pants. Edward, if you will come back, I will give you three free kettlebell lessons.
Do you have a question for Edward?
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And have you joined the World’s Strongest Book Club?
by Josh Hanagarne on July 28, 2010
This is a guest post from Todd Boyer
It was like a scene in “A Christmas Story” — 9 year old Ralphie runs to the mailbox after school, hoping to find his “Little Orphan Anny” decoder ring. Then one day it arrives! Ralphie tears open the package as he runs to the one room in the house where a man can find privacy.
There was a time when I subscribed to nearly a dozen magazines. Every month I would receive in our mailbox various car magazines, gun magazines, bodybuilder magazines, etc. Not to mention the ones that I’d pick up at the grocery store every week. Each one a source entertainment, and information. Plus they gave me something to contemplate while in the “reading room”.
The pattern was always the same. The beginning was to thumb through the pages–looking at the pictures and getting a feel for the issue. Next, I’d read the articles that caught my eye. This was then followed by a more thorough reading of the other parts as time permitted. [Read more...]
